The Principal's Office

I’m sitting in a coffee shop near a window, eating fried avocaodos dipped in some sort of spicy sauce and drinking Sweet Bloom’s Columbian roast, made by a barista who called me m’dear in just the perfect way—delightfully old-fashioned and endearing.

I’m at the Principal’s Office: a coffee shop in a school that has been converted into an array of shops and cafes.  I pulled up, found a parking spot, entered through the front door, and hoped I was at the right school. Fortunately, just inside to my right there was a map that explained where each cafe was located within the building. I was relieved. I’d made it.

I swung left to an array of breads and pastries and a fresh-faced friendly fellow of about twenty. I asked him what was good. When he found out I desired coffee and food, he handed me a menu and sent me down a hallway to the left and around a corner, ending up directly behind where he was standing. “They know more about coffee over there,” he explained.

Around that corner, the area opened up to a wall of windows facing a bar. One of the bartenders greeted me and in a moment was over the take my order. Again, my query: “I’ve never been here, but I’ve heard awesome things! What’s good?” 

He explained that they had both pour-over coffees and milk beverages like lattes and cappuccinos. “If you want coffee, we can look at the options and figure it out together.” Then he opened the menu. “I like the salads; they have a lot of whatever is on it.” He pointed at a few. “The sandwiches are good, too.” “I like trying interesting things. What’s the most unique thing I can get? What’s something that I can’t get anywhere else?” His answer was immediate: the fried avocados. I didn’t hesitate. My entire life has been leading up to this point: drinking Denver coffee and eating fried avocados at a cafe in the mountains in the middle of the country. Practically perfect in every way (10 points if you know where that’s from).

I signed the receipt. “Thanks, m’dear! I’ll bring your coffee out to you when it’s ready.” Before long my fried avocados had arrived as well. I’d chosen a spot by the window, partly for its proximity to the light, partly for its proximity to the outlets. I’ll be here for a bit, catching up on editing and writing, and I’ll be praying. This week has changed me—is changing me—and it’s not nearly over yet.

Voodoo Doughnut

Tonight Amber and I visited Voodoo Doughnut for the first time.

These were my donuts: one was called the Ugly Bastard, one was like a little voodoo man, and another was covered in Cocoa Puffs.

Adulting and New Adventures

I woke up this morning in my 3rd state and 2nd timezone in 4 days. I woke up with some adulting decisions weighing heavily on my mind. Decisions I couldn’t put off. Scary decisions. So I went to a coffee shop a few blocks away to read and pray and think. I daresay I don’t spend enough time dwelling. Refreshing my soul and my mind. 

Per the recommendation of the two friendly baristas, a blonde gal in a maroon shirt and fringed boots and a tall fellow with a beard and a gray hoodie, I got the Ethiopian. They let me sample it first, which was the kindest. It is rather berry flavored but much less harsh than many of the fruitier coffees I’ve tried. In addition, Atlas Coffees offers free refills on both for-here and to-go coffee—all day. I’ve never had a coffee place offer refills on to-go coffee, and it might be the best thing.

I’ve been pondering my word for the year: fearlessness. 

I want to learn the places I’m afraid and press through them into something deeper. Something called fearlessness. Something called bravery.

In the past 3 days, I’ve driven over 12 hours across the country by myself and did acro-yoga for the first time (thanks to my friend Elaine for encouraging me to be brave). Both of these things scared me 4 days ago (hoenstly, I didn’t even know what acro-yoga was). But I did them. 

Small bits of bravery. And I’m at it again this morning. I am sitting in the table just to the right of the door, across from the trash and honey and napkins. I picked it for the proximity to the window. That’s usually how I pick my tables. I read a couple emails and made a couple phone calls and I was physically shaking partly from coffee and lack of sleep, but mostly from nerves.

But I did it. Fearlessness. I’m leaning into that word today.

Chasing Beauty in Kansas

Metropolitan Coffee : Hutchinson, Kansas

This is my view right now. Or at least it was when I began writing. I’ve since finished both the donut and the coffee and I have no regrets. Yes, this is a story about beauty. No, don't worry: I'm not just going to ramble about how beautiful donuts and coffee are. You'll see.

Right now I’m at a restaurant-style black table near a window at a coffee shop in a strip mall in Hutchinson, which is somewhere in the middle of Kansas. I arrived in Kansas last night at about 9pm and drove 3.5 hours through the darkness to reach Hutchinson. So I didn’t have a great concept of what Kansas was like until about 5 hours ago. But I did notice two things about Kansas: there were very few cars and there were thousands and thousands of stars. I’m not exaggerating. Yes, I’ve been outside before. I’ve seen the sky. But not like this.

It was all I could do not to crane my head out the window to my left just to look at them. Eyes on the road, Liz! But c’mon—have you seen those stars? How can you look at that striped bit of pavement when there are galaxies encompassing your entire existence? It was, again, all I could do not to pull over and get out of my car and just stare. Hours could pass; I wouldn’t know and wouldn’t care because this—all of this smallness of being and bigness of everything—this was part of the fullness of being alive.

But three things kept me from stopping. First, it was bitterly cold. Single digits and windy. I’m a Midwesterner; I’ve got plenty of grit, but I also only have 10 fingers and I’d like to keep that amount in the double digits, if possible. Second, I was staying with a friend and I didn’t want to arrive at 4am or some such ridiculously late time with my only excuse as: but, there were stars! Third, I was literally in the middle of nowhere. I hate that the world is such a place that this has to be a thought, but if someone killed me, no one would hear me and no one would find me because there was no one else there. So I didn’t stop. 

However, I definitely twisted my neck up and to the left on more than one occasion because when there’s beauty like that, it’s hard to look at anything else. It would be akin to the groom staring at the wedding cake when his bride is right in front of him. Why would you ever want to look at anything else?

In one moment of joy, I couldn’t contain it. I rolled in windows down, stuck my arm out into the 70mph bitter cold, and yelled, a wondrous whooping yell, like someone who has just seen land after a long journey across the sea. Ahoy! I have found something beautiful and I am alive and I cannot contain it all!

I didn’t always used to see beauty everywhere like this. I found most of the Midwest rather bland compared to the western states. Chicago and my camera gave me new eyes and I never want to go back. I want to be an excavator of beautiful things because I deeply believe that beautiful things are always found even in the most unlikely places.

Because in the light of day, Kansas is indeed flat. It is indeed very brown and very gray. Granted, it is the winter so perhaps that’s not fair to presume Kansas is always very brown and very gray. However, today is the only day I’ve been to Kansas, so today is all I have to base my presumptions on, so if I’m wrong, please forgive me and invite me back to Kansas to prove me wrong.

But here’s the thing. How you see things is a choice. Chasing beauty is less about finding beauty and more about choosing to see it. Rather than chase beauty, choose it.

I can drive through Kansas and see something rather mediocre and non-dramatic. Or I can choose to see the ombre of beiges as a tidal wave of untouched simplicity. Of a background to a story. Today, it’s the background to my story. I can choose to chase the sunset here (I’ve heard they’re amazing) and to gawk unashamedly at the stars. Life is short and I want to wallow fully in beauty. I want to be as excited about Kansas as hippos are excited about mud. Maybe that’s a bit of an exaggeration, and I do think Kansas is quite a bit nicer than mud, but let’s not get distracted. I want to every single day dive into life, expecting it to be beautiful, and knowing that it will be simply because I choose to see it that way. Kansas is beautiful. You just have to roll down your window and notice.

NYE

Both of the rest of the "dream team" were working on New Years Eve, but I still managed to spend time with both of them. Mission accomplished. First I visited Sarah at the restaurant she works at, but I don't have any photos from that. It's a rather fancy place and such a thing wouldn't necessarily be proper. After that, I went to the Des Moines Social Club. Alyssa was shooting the event, which included a human ball drop, live music, a photo booth, and several rooms of art. After midnight, Alyssa and I explored the art rooms and took some portraits. My favourite room was the "Nice" room, but we got rad shots in every space. I'm proud of my city that we have places like the Social Club and fun, creative events like this one. 

Happy new year!

DSM Girl Gang: Behind the Scenes

candid BTS

About a week ago, I was asked to shoot for a local publication. I brought my camera bag full of film and lenses and my Klean Kanteen full of black coffee and my laptop full of Justin Bieber. All you need, really. While I'm keeping most of the details of the shoot on the down-low, after the "official" shoot was over, the gals and I took some more portraits in the studio in our "normal" clothes. Basically we all wore black and gray. Here are some of my favourite moments.

This is Tia. She makes the most adorable cookies and has a killer profile.

This is Alex. She's started knitting and is great at it, and she works angles in front of the camera better than anyone I've ever met.

This is Meanz. She is the most all-around creative person I've ever met. I say that not because I don't have anything to say, but rather because she's good at graphic design, at photography, at clothing design, at too many things to list all in one post. And beautiful, too. 

Sundays are my favourite. Days  to laugh and slow down and sometimes work, but mostly catch up--on editing and with people. Today has been the best of those worlds.

David

David and I became Instagram friends before we became "real life" friends. To back up a couple years, in 2013 I began working at a thrift store. As it turns out, my first day was also Sara's first day. She talked to me during lunch, and from that day forward, she became one of my dearest friends. She and her roommate Kari hosted dinners at their 2-story apartment on Sunday nights, and they invited me. Their living room because such a safe beautiful place that we all desperately needed our first couple years out of college. We longed to be understood, and we found it in that apartment, on couches and floors, over meals and episodes of Downtown Abbey and Once Upon a Time. Over the past year, I saw a couple photo series of Sara and our friend Alex posted online. Beautiful portraits. So I began following the photographer on Instagram. 

About a month ago, I got a message from the same photographer. He was going to be in town: was I free to grab coffee? As it turns out, I'd taken the afternoon off work, which never happens, and I met him at Scenic Route Bakery a few hours later. Yes, you guessed it: the photographer was David. I'm thankful for people who leap over the social media to in-person barrier because you make some great friends that way: just leaping in.

David is from Kanas City, so collaborating has to be intentional. This week he was in town for Thanksgiving, so we spent the afternoon exploring the Art Center and taking photos. He taught me some double exposure tricks, I taught him to free lens, and we played around with a prism. 

The Art Center closed at 4, so despite the rain, we ventured behind the building, and I daresay I got some of my favourite shots of the day during that walk. All in all, it was a swell afternoon.

Moon Honey: 8.15.15

My friend Evelyn invited me to a show last night. I had only heard of one of the bands, but I'm so glad I went. Not only was it fun to hang out, but I was surprised by the magical Moon Honey. I nearly always have my camera on me, so when I saw their outfits and their colorful projections, I had to take a few shots.

I knew once I saw these two that I wanted to take a portrait. They were super sweet and stepped outside with me and we got a few shots. These darling people. These spectacular outfits. I can't get enough. Can I dress like this everyday?

Evelyn: 7.3.15

I met Evelyn through my friend Justin. She's in a local band Field Division (they're lovely--check 'em out), and I helped with their upcoming music video. (Shoutout to Justin and Israel for asking me to assist.) Evenlyn and I became friends over our mutual love of shooting (not only is she a musician, but she's also a photographer), and I got a few shots of her that day. When she had a show downtown a few weeks later, I got a few more portraits of her. She's a sweet soul and I love her ethereal style.

Alex : 8.9.15

Alex is a gem of a human. We instagram met a couple months ago, then met in person more recently. Yesterday we explored Saylorville Lake and took some photos. We learned that we grew up minutes from each other and we probably went to the same shows and the same grocery store and maybe even  crossed paths years ago, before each of us knew who the other was. 

Not only is Alex great in front of the camera, but she shoots, too! She's got a rad collection of digital images, and she brought a new film camera to our adventure. I'm excited to see how the photos turn out! 

On our way back from adventuring, the half of the sky was dark. Alex found a cool spot for us to pull over and get a few shots. I love the moodiness of summer skies.